no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
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Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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