Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i will never coherently bang her
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize