If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she told me i tasted like america
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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