Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
