Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
