So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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