I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
