brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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