No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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