She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
