when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Are we still banned from the library?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
