The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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