I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
