It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize