The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she told me i tasted like america
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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