Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize