We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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