No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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