He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
