I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The air taste purple.
Randomize
