I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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