Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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