i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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