First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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