Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
