I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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