I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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