you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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