You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
