"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
