i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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