On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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