you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
