Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
