it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.