Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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