if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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