smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
