Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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