I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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