I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
