i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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