How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
