The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
