i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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