she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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