Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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