Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
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hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
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He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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