On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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