it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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