I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
