i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
