I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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