just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
