so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
tell your sister to shave her snatch
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Randomize
