If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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