we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
jump out the window naked night went bad
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
