After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
