The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
