Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
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The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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